God, for days I have been lost. The pain is starting to sink in deep, it is starting to cut. I surrender to You now. I have been able to move forward for most everything but this has been destroying my health, my mind, my soul. Everything. I am sorry I couldn’t be the light You have chosen me to be. I tried it. I have failed. I have chosen hatred. Anger. Revenge is in my heart. I have seen it. You know, more than anyone-
God: I know. You gave her everything. Every last bit of it. Now there is only silence. Empty heart. You can’t bear the idea of finding a new girlfriend.
Me: Because what is the point?
God: True. Why don’t You tell us? Since You have it all planned out. What is the point of You being alive. Why don’t I just stop your heart? You’ve been telling me to…
Me: I’m sorry. But You know. This hurts. She left me with no closure. Ghosted. Blocked. No answers. No warning. Just abandoned. I planned my life with her. And it seems she went with someone else. I did everything with her. I didn’t think that it would all be finished this way. It seems very cruel.
God: It is very cruel. I am sorry You went through this. You have said sorry over a million times, Yet she refuses to even open the message inbox on all social media platforms. Yet why wait? Why wait for her to open any message inbox? What do You think you will find if she forgives what she imagines you did to deserve all the hatred?
Me: I made my mistakes yes. I know I did. But-
God: You did great.
Me: I did???
God: More than great. You were amazing. You were so exciting; so alive, so caring, now it’s raining in your heart. Because of her hatred. She introduced that hatred to you from the start. Can’t you see this? You were great. You were so full of the Truth. Your intentions clear and pure. It was her who introduced the first seed of darkness in this relationship. I am not blaming her; nothing I say here is of blame, but of Truth from my POV. As You Humans like to call it. I see the Truth. The Truth beyond Lover-sight. Your relationship was perfect up until the point her mind got a hold of it and twisted its ends until it had no more love in it.
Me: I guess it’s hard not to blame myself ..:I mean to be abandoned, then seeing her instantly move into a different relationship. Or what seems like it based off her matching profile pictures. It honestly, seems …
God: Heartless.
Me: yea…but I guess I am no…
God: Bitch?
Me: God cussing still freaks me out.
God: Why? I cuss all the time. A God that can’t cuss or shout? What’s the fuss all about?
Me: Clever, I would laugh if I didn’t feel like lava was in my stomach.
God: I can take that lava away, You know how?
Me: How?
God: By teaching You how to forgive.
Even those who move on without taking a second look back.
Even those who were seemingly head over heels for You, then betrayed your trust when all You did was care.
Remember the countless times she left you hanging. Desperately editing the same message hoping she would see what you type.
Me: I do…I do remember… I ended up deleting everything like a month after. Because I realized that she probably doesn’t care. She did all of this knowing my birthday was coming up as well. At first I thought maybe something happened to her or her grandma took away her devices. But it was all a scheme.
God: Forgive even those who You sacrificed everything for, and still had to consistently drag them along the relationship.
Constantly using EVERYTHING and I mean EVERYTHING to get them to act right. Because they couldn’t be bothered to show the same amount of effort. Isn’t this all true?
Me: …
God: What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue? Or Bunny I should say.
Me: hey
God: hey what? Isn’t this all true?
Me: She was sweet too. She wasn’t all bad. She was amazing. I saw amazing qualities. I was In Love with her. For a reason.
God: Who said she was all bad? We are mentioning the positives too…she didn’t ghost you right away, that’s a positive. She took 9 months to do it. Okay I’ll stop.
Me: Funny.
God: Everything happens for a reason. It all ended up here. To tell others not to date her!
Me: I hope she doesn’t take this serious if she ever reads it.
God: By the time she comes across this she would find it funny. I know it. Trust in me and be not of worry. For I am your Lord, Christ. Beyond worry and all conceptions of stress. Yet I did make you laugh didn’t you laugh?
Me: I did. But I hope people reading this don’t see her as this horrible person. She was a great partner for the most part. She had her mind and she did try.
God: Be not concerned about what people think. We have not said her name have we? We are respecting her privacy. She may as well be calm, there are no judgements here. I am simply observing the facts. Did she not introduce the first betrayal in the relationship?
Me: Well yes that is true.
God: Then am I “bashing” or is it that I am saying the truth. You make her a perfect Angel in your mind. Yet she insulted you by acts of betrayal. 3 times. You also had your variant of betrayal but not to the extent she did. Where other Humans were involved. Yours were baby steps to betrayal. I can forgive you for that. But her acts were huge steps in the wrong direction. Wrong here meaning steps that are detrimental to a secure and committed relationship. I forgive her for that too. She is not her wrongs, but she should leave them behind if she chooses to evolve as a soul. I mention this for anyone committing acts of crime against another. You will never find peace this way. Never. Revenge leads to darkness. Never true peace.
Me: I wish you could tell her that.
God: She doesn’t listen. I have tried.
God: I am not here to make You a victim. But the facts are, You expressed Love and concern, she expressed disgust and discomfort even when learning Spanish. A language she claimed to always want to learn but never tried. When you with eager aura and vibrant playful energy began to teach her, She quickly got over that desire. When you offered a way for her to learn quickly and efficiently she quickly developed boredom. I am getting bored even thinking of her boredom! No judgement. I would be bored too if I was in my mind all day. I can’t stand being in your mind all day. Can you free us?
Me: After this post. I will.
God: You had freed us before. Why are you in this prison again?
Why is this different?
Me: It hurts more.
God: Then forgive more.
Forgive Even those who promised to spend the rest of their life with you yet faked most of their interest in moving towards your way.
Which was My way.
My way…My Truth…MY LIFE…My Soul.
Even those who are right now laughing while You suffer in fire. You know I can’t stand to see that sad look on your face right? Stop it. Smile. It is over. She has done it. Yet I tell You the truth…This is an opportunity to look at this and say, I Am The Life which gives endless forgiveness. And forgive finely and truly.
Even those who block You and never have a change of heart.
Even those who neglected You and horribly used You even while never offering basic affection when You needed it the most. A day You worked the hardest and she the least. Sleeping, while her boyfriend was fading away, loss of interest…for genshin, oh what an impact.
Me: Perfect Pun.
God: I have more just wait.
But first,
Rest
Your
Heart.
She has done it. Time we forgive her and move on.
Sometimes it is best to not require anything of anyone. This way. You WILL NEVER need anything outside yourself, for Joy.
Me: My desire for others knowing what they did is wrong is my trap often.
God: Set your soul free by setting others free from your heart. Maybe it is not their time yet. All Souls will realize what they did wrong at the time of death in what You call “The Life Review” therefore reconcile early, and live with no regrets. Be an everlasting peace. Don’t leave anything unsettled. Be peaceful now. Don’t expect the world to be perfect; be first ye perfect and the rest will follow onto itself. Be my peace. Gracias.
Me: Thank You so much. For saying so much.
God: I can repeat it again if You like.
Me: Look at the time.
God: Who is running away now? It was a test to see if you would wish to run away. Say what is on your chest.
Me: I feel your truth. I see the truth of your words but…there is just that feeling that I can’t outlive or survive being cheated on or at least the thought of it. To think that person who was so intimate with me is now lusting after someone else. Or possibly or did. Whatever they did.
God: The story. Drop it. Drop everything that You think is your story. You are not the victim nor the villain. You are not yesterday’s sorrows. You are not the victim of being betrayed by a partner. You never were that sorrow. Nor that pain. It is a story. You attached it to yourself. Why would You do that to your pure Soul?
Me: Because I still feel like it happened to me.
God: Well, it did. I am no new age Guru here, I am God.
Me: Feisty.
God: *Growling noises*
Me: That was uncalled for.
God: I had to. Now let’s get back to the Truth of the matter at hand.
There are no victims or villains in this moment. All is unhappened here and now. You call it your past. But truly I tell You, I have made You clean.
Me: Really?
God: Really, really.
Me: I still feel destroyed by her leaving me then going with someone else.
God: The victim, the villain. Are You truly in tune with what I have told You? The victim does not exist. You are clean. I have made it so, by the virtue of my sacrifice, You are not what has passed. I have made You pure Spirit.
Me: but dont you think that was a little mean. What she did.
God: You want me to get into her past. Her story? Isn’t that who she USED TO BE and not WHO SHE IS NOW? Leaving her past aside and factually speaking, Yes, it was mean. A little. A LOT – little. She was ungrateful from the start. Never having enough. This is a common thought shared by most of Humanity. That there is not now, enough. This Not-Enough thinking is the cause of all error in the world. For if You knew who You really are, You would feel that You are enough always. And the rest is like the Syrup on the already delicious pancakes. A good compliment, not a necessity. Not to make her the enemy, but she is a good example of this Not-Enough mindset. Always wanting more. That is why she left. She didn’t see that there was always enough. She started to seek elsewhere from here and now. Dangerously seeking until she found a way out. Now she is getting all her love from viewing herself in a self pity mindset. This is her excitement now. She is the victim. The villain. All in one combo. Many Humans have this mindset. The Ego is fed from this, never ending pity. She, like others, wanted to explore more, more relationships. More freedom. She felt Judged and trapped. Beginning to hate learning spanish, and tired of disappointing your idea of an ideal relationship She needed to break free. This freedom. Came at the expense of You being her “victim”. A freedom, that will never be satisfying, not for long if any temporary satisfaction is found, be not concerned with her however, Nor anyone who hurts You. For if they hurt anyone by due process, they are hurting their own self. All is one in the universe.
Me: I know this is the Truth. But how to forgive the man who flirts with your girlfriend, knowing she is with You. And turning on your girlfriend and her liking it. And her hiding it. How do I remove this darkness.
God: A great past.
Me: She did apologize for that. I respect that.
God: I respect that too. She was honest, after I told you what she had done. I know what you are referring to, The first betrayal. I call it first because it happened for the first time. Time and time again. I tell you. Forgiveness is not because the world has stopped hurting, or performing what You call sin in this world. But because You have a pure heart. You are beyond betrayal. 1200 reasons to forgive are because it passed already. It is done. You can’t control what they will be next, so why hold them to an illusory identity? What if they become just like I, Christ, a second after they realize they were not the one who harmed You? Did the Buddha not have a complete turn around? Think not I have a plan for all wrong doers?
Me: I know You have a plan for everyone.
God: Then be the plan I have set fourth for You and be easy going in Soul; my fire. In this BEYOND that You are, be The Spirit of The Beyond. If You like that name then why not live it? Be BEYOND. I call fourth unto YOU a NEW CHALLENGE: Stop acting like the ego, and start acting like God. A new way to be. Unmoved by anyone. You act like you didn’t know this already. You are not the heart broken one, You are the watcher OF ALL. Even of the person who she can hurt. Is a made up identity in your mind. It is not the real You. It is an identity born from lack of “right” perspective. It is not self. Not true self. Christ consciousness is ignited when You realize YOU ARE ENOUGH ALWAYS.
You are MORE than enough.
In such a pure state how can You not forgive? Can I politely ask you, do you forgive her now?
Despite all of the humiliation?
Me: I forgive her. I really forgive her.
God: Amen. That was easy wasn’t it?
Me: Easier than hatred to be honest. I always thought forgiveness was harder.
God: It actually takes more effort to hate than to Love. Love is natural. In the pure Love that we are, you forgive totally. You forgive, not because they (the forgiven) are ready to stop acting in this inferior state of consciousness. Oh wicked, they may be, Storm…you forgive because YOU ARE DONE SUFFERING. YOU SEE BEYOND the betrayal and into the heart of TRUTH.
WE ARE ALL ONE!
You are all that there is….
So whom is there to forgive now, Storm?
Me: Nobody.
God: Those who harm another, simply do not know this. Not fully. They may know it mentally, but not experientially. They are not of GOD. You be the one of God. Be the fire that cleanses all illusion. Be the fire of the Love of ME.
Me: How do I remove resentment from my heart? It has built up. I can see the resentful Ego but watching it doesn’t seem to clean it.
God: I have another method. Love your enemies.
Me: How?
God: By seeing the self. A lost form of pure self, who needs saving. Lead by example. Be the pure spirit of Light. Even when You want to give up. Move not into hatred, become not friends of darkness but friends of light. I Am With You Always. Be the Pure Self. You know better. Entertain not, the mind that says what the world has taught You, be instead the light that I AM. The broken I am is not me; I AM BEFORE ALL I AM.
Be free of all hatred, move into Love. For even as the Pure Spirits may strike You, I am there too. Remind me of that. Remind the lost parts of myself of Who I really Am. Forgive me so much, I forget what I am not. Be my reminder to the Truth.. Be my Trail.
Me: You have cured me. Thank You so much. …My heart…can rest. I can finally be my pure beingness.
God: You are earnestly welcome. You need that rest. Rest forever in my heart. I have cured You, now fly, my dove, and shine your light.
Me: I will! Thank You so much. I love You.
God: I love You too. You are welcome. Never forget that whenever something is bothering any of You, I am calling You home. Follow that voice which calls You to the way. I Am the way.
DESTINATION UNKNOWN 